Queen of Spades Trilogy by E.J. Dawson: Awakening, Darkening, Reckoning
The first book in the Queen of Spades Trilogy, Awakening, will be available 10th of April 2020 and the pre-order is only 99 cents!
A scifi action with a side of romance, it has all the violence, banter, and tension of great character driven scifi with psychic abilities giving it an edge that keeps the story on its toes.
Ayla is a villain. With a gift that allows her to see when anyone will die, she’s remorseless in her profession as the perfect assassin. When she wakes up in a cryo-tank three thousand years in the future, and no idea how she came to be there, all that matters is survival.
Rescued by Leith and the crew of the Nuria, Ayla discovers a far evolved world of space ships and galactic colonization. But everything comes with a price, and…
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I know everything is stressful right now and we all have stuff we need to focus on but I’m taking the wins, the little ones, and this is one of them.
The cover for Queen of Spades; Awakening is on All Author and up for cover of the month!
Massive shout out to Violeta who worked so hard getting the trilogy of covers just right for me. For those of you who can, get her to do your covers she is amazing!
If you’ve got the time please give it a vote, I’d appreciate it!
I’m not brave.
If I were being honest with myself, I’m a coward.
I fight when I know I can win and I’m defensive when I know I’ll lose.
That’s a hard thing to admit but this week its been so important to be able to say and here is why; you are rarely the presumption you put upon yourself.
Discussing the motivations of Letitia to my mother she criticized my analysis of the heroine of Behind the Veil.
“Yeah, Mum,” I replied. “Its because she’s a coward. She’s afraid and hiding behind self-preservation so she doesn’t have to face the truth.”
“No, she isn’t.” My mother cuts me off, and she’s adamant, she doesn’t give a shit it’s my story, she has her own theory. “Letitia’s so very brave. She’s willing to face what she’s most scared of, what terrifies her beyond all other things, in spite of her fear, that’s what makes her brave. No one else can do this but her, no one else risks as much as she does, and she does the right thing. She’s the bravest one of them all.”
I’d never heard my mother talk about a fictional person I created with so much emphasis. Or felt like my cowardness, my excuses, my depression and anxiety, mattered so little. It wasn’t because it didn’t matter. And it was because I was brave.
Bravery isn’t when you know you’ll win.
Courage isn’t there for the confident.
And valour isn’t for those who don’t doubt themselves.
But that didn’t change I was all of those things. And none of them.
I was a coward.
I kept a 9 to 5 job under the conviction that’s what it was to be safe. I wanted to be me, but I had to have someone else’s approval.
I was the lion in Dorothy’s story.
I was hiding behind the shadow of social media’s self-importance to pretend I had something worthwhile.
When all that time I had something more.
Do you know I’ve written over twenty books.
When I do a tally, novellas included, its closer to twenty five books now, but that’s not important.
Do you know I found within me the strength to self-publish three when I had no idea what I was doing?
And do you know that they sold well?
Being brave and courageous is never about the moments you’ll know you’ll win.
They’re about the moments you think you’ll fail.
I just quit my job without another one to go to because without details I thought I was doing the right thing. It turns out that wasn’t the case and I still don’t regret my decision.
I could be scared, terrified, left wondering if I’ve made the right choice.
Like Letitia, the coward. Except according to my mother she isn’t.
I’m a coward.
But I’ve let go of convention to do something I never thought was possible. I gave up security to find myself, and the part of me that knows my stories *MATTER*.
I was brave when the lights went out, the beasts are coming, the darkness has my soul and I don’t know if I’ll ever escape, if I’ve given the light up on a dream that will morph into a nightmare reminding me of all the stupid decisions I’ve ever made.
That’s what bravery looks like.
That’s what it is, to be a coward… and follow your dreams anyway.
The next time you’re scared, the next time you’re letting fear hold you back, you remember this, the grit in my teeth, the panic failure is at my door, and still is, the dread I will drag my life down into fiscal regret and half imagined dreams…
…and despite all this my stories matter. No one can take that away, from me, or from you, so while I’m down here, I’m smiling, because I have something no one else has, not hope or false promises.
I have conviction.
I am a coward…
…but I am still here.
Hilariously enough this post is not about games, one of my favourite past times.
This is about the miserable blog post I drafted last night about finding the strength within with a good cry and some sobby youtube clips because my last week has been awful. On one day I received three agent rejections and two job rejections. So I wrote this post at 2am last night feeling very sober and sorry for myself and I got up this morning and thought… fuck that noise.
You have your own songs and movies and stuff you just curl up into a ball and feel fucking miserable and like none of this is going to be worth it and that’s not what you need when you want someone to help pull you up.
I’m all about making these blog posts as useful and helpful as possible and sometimes it doesn’t work and other times I’m surprised by the responses I get. If my little snippets of aggressive positivity, especially with these songs, helps you get up and do something today, then that’s a freaking win.
Here is my list of the BOSS songs I put on my playlist;
(… you’re going to find out pretty quick how much I love my bass and metal…)
[Hardcore] – Stonebank – Stronger (feat. EMEL) [Monstercat Release]
TheFatRat, Slaydit & Anjulie – Stronger [Monstercat Release]
These are really techno but I find that are a great motivator to just get up and do something!
Opening Black Lagoon — Red Fraction (full version) by MELL
Black Lagoon – “Red Fraction” | AmaLee Ver (English Version of the same song)
I’ve included the Black Lagoon opening song for the anime, and while it’s Japanese if you struggle to listen to it (I know some people have trouble liking songs when they don’t know the language) then there is an English version which I thought was very good too! This is an absolutely kick ass song and a kick ass anime.
David Guetta – Titanium ft. Sia (Official Video)
I know its far more mainstream than the other songs but this one is still great, and I’ve loved Sia since she did Breathe.
THIS is the song I really return to when things are crap. I discovered this band purely by accident when they did a song called Ari Ari but this was the song that made me become a Patreon. It’s an Indian metal song but the guys and the message behind the song is just pure and they are really lovely, not to mention the song is metal.
INDIAN FOLK METAL (Bloodywood – “Jee Veerey” ft. Raoul Kerr)
This is by no means all the songs listen to or we’d be here for eight hours.
What these songs are is the capacity to just get on with it. They have messages within them that you just put on headphones and dance your damn heart out. Clean the house and make everything as perfect as you can. Do something no matter how many other times its failed.
You become stronger when you are at your weakest.
You become brave when you are most afraid.
You get up because you’ve been knocked down that many times you know you can’t stay where you are and there really is nothing else to do but keep trying while you are still alive.
However you need to get there, a song, a movie, or just finding someone else who understands, who can give you a hand… or post you a song that somehow makes a difference.
I hope my strong songs make a difference to you today, and you can do this, because you’ve lain in darkness too long.